"Hey guys, watch this!"

First a video, to put you in the right frame of mind...

It is fair to say that the premise of this entire blog is celebrating and recording past adventures…but this post is especially dedicated to a nagging homesickness for the past. Decadence does not dwell on the past, whether good or bad. The past has happened and now it is no more. The fleeting nature of the past is why Decadence has learned to live with urgency in the present. 

All of this aside, at times Decadence cannot help but think longingly of the friends she has had to move away from in recent times. Having these thoughts only strengthens the need to tell stories, hopefully making the events of the past come to life where they can be enjoyed again and again.

Okay-that was the spiel addressing homesickness--hopefully you are a captive enough audience to have made it through that.

The last X amount of posts have been a bit long. This one will attempt to stay on the side of brevity, but alas this has been promised before...

This is the story of how BarbKiller and Decadence became friends...


While in college, there was a house that, at times-usually beginning in the fall months, kept a massive leland cypress (think Christmas tree) standing in their front yard. Sometimes it stood up straight, sometimes it leaned to one side. It was never decorated. It was simply too big for a bunch of college students to have the money, resources, or desire to obtain enough decorations and/or spend the time to decorate it appropriately.

Decadence's junior year: The tree was more crooked than ever. 

Think Leaning Tower of Pisa-but leaning more

It leaned to such an extent that college-girl Decadence began to think it was teasing her and her sporadic need for order. 

One night Decadence took it especially hard as an affront to her. An aggressive move, if you will. As if the tree had pushed Decadence square in the shoulders and then stood back as if to say "What're you gonna do about it, girl?!"

Stop looking at me like that, Tree.

Young Decadence was sick of this tree flaunting its presence day after day. One spring night, she decided it was time to take this tree down.

An old friend stood by watching, while a few new acquaintances walked past the scene. As fate would have it, one of these people was BarbKiller and the other was also a future SAA, HarpStar. 


In true style, (and what has since been identified officially as "A redneck's last words") Decadence yelled to the little known passers-by: "Hey guys, watch this!"

As soon as those words were uttered, Decadence ran full speed at the tree. Sprint would be the appropriate term.

Just as she reached the tree, she jumped. 

This is the exact jumping stance Decadence used, except she was fully clothed while doing so.

She jumped high and with the ultimate confidence of someone who knew that they were taking down Goliath.


Immediately after leaving her feet, she was fully engulfed by the branches and endless needles of the tree. For a split second, Decadence disappeared into the middle of the tree.

Visual likeness of Decadence lost amongst the tree branches.

Where she thought she would feel the tree give way to her brut force and thus tumbling to the ground; in the next second Decadence ricocheted away from the tree in the same direction from which she approached it. She was rejected fully and thrown clear of the tree as if she had jumped face-first into a vertical trampoline. Engulfed one second, thrown back to the ground in the next.

For a split second, Decadence laid on the ground in a daze. Laying flat on her back, she heard cackles of laughter. Decadence looked around and jumped up. 


She looked at the tree. it was still standing as if nothing had happened. BarbKiller, HarpStar and the other bystander guffawed and nearly soiled their pantaloons while Decadence shook off the shock that her maneuver had not handled the tree. 


Momentarily she entertained the idea of trying again. 

This display was enough for BarbKiller to decide that she and Decadence must join forces, and forces they joined. Case and point? SAAs.

In times of true unity, please refer to these two SAAs as "LAAurBAArb"

Many days later...it was determined that the tree was cemented into the earth, several feet below the surface of the ground. This is still Decadence's only known unsuccessful tackle to date.

Soiled Again!!!

Let's face it, when Decadence tries to impress new individuals, the universe tends to foil her efforts. This is nothing new for Decadence. No matter how many times her hard work is shot down, Decadence maintains optimism in each new situation in which attempts to make good impressions are necessary. Said optimism tells Decadence: "This time it will be different, I promise." or "Go for it, girl, you got this!" or even "Yea right, like anything could go wrong!" 
Optimism blinds Decadence without fail...every time. 
It even seems that the universe takes the combination of each new situation + optimism + Decadence and sees it as a challenge--a challenge to create new ways to foil Decadence. Each new way is different, unique, unexpected, and worthy of a Charlie Brown reaction, such as:

or a Charlie Brown inspired head droop and sluggish walk away from foiled attempt, shown here:

As there are already several examples of these situations present in previous blog posts, there will only be one new moment shared...


This brief moment in time takes place only two months after Decadence moved to Jacksonville. During these first two months, she spent many weekends out of town choosing to visit old friends rather than stay in town to make new friends. (She had a difficult adjustment at first.)


The evening to be described marks one of the first few weekends Decadence remained in town.  The week preceding this event was the first week in which Decadence had successfully met new people outside of her current coworkers and roommates. It would be safe to say that this was the first week in which Decadence's difficult adjustment lifted and things began to look up. 


**Note: It is in these moments that optimism is at its highest and Decadence falls into the old unsuspecting ways.


On this night, Decadence had made a new friend through other new friends. Decadence had planned to meet the new friend for a local, low-key happy hour before attending an old Italian horror film in celebration of the fast approaching and much anticipated Halloween.


Excited to have met a someone new, Decadence was of course hoping to make a favorable impression. Channeling optimism and positive self-worth, Decadence set off for nearby meeting place. Decadence was the second to arrive, so she joined her new friend where he sat amongst the other happy hour patrons. 


Initial pleasantries were exchanged, but after the first few words, Decadence's attention wandered. This waning attention was not due to the pleasantries...it was just that Decadence could not shake the feeling that something terrible and unidentifiable had happened. Decadence's friend continued to generate  conversation, but all was lost to Decadence as she tried silently to solve the mystery of what had gone wrong. She looked from her friend to the floor and back to her friend. She smiled and nodded to what was being said without comprehension, attempting to appear as if things were normal but all the while panic was mounting.


After a few moments of this, Decadence began to apply more attention to the mystery than her friend. She slowly lifted one foot and then the other, studying each and then the floor. She noticed a lot of dirt-like material. The substance was caked onto the foot rest of the high stool, the foot of the bar and the floor below where the stool sat and it looked to be any of the following things:
-A stack of extremely wet and now ripped, mushy napkins
-Thick mud, dirt mixture
-Dog shit, lots and lots of dog shit


Silently Decadence thought, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, PLEASE let this be a stack of wet, soggy napkins." Continuing to cycle between looking at her friend, to the floor, to the stool, to her shoes, and now to the soiled back of her jeans, her lack of focus could no longer be ignored by her friend. He also began to study the situation while Decadence maintained a fearful silence. Recalling this event, it is likely that Decadence was making this face:

Afraid to get too close to determine the exact nature of the substance, both kept their distance choosing instead to speculate from afar. Others at the bar began to notice the detective work going on and began to  suspend their conversations to offer help to the cause.


After a few minutes, there was no way to deny that the substance was in fact a massive amount of dog shit left behind by a mother-daughter pair who had only minutes before Decadence's arrival vacated the restaurant.

It would be fair to say that this mother-daughter pair was straight out of Mommy Dearest

At some point, and thanks to Decadence's friend, logic took over and it was decided that Decadence should make the short walk home, change (pants and shoes) and start the night fresh.

There really seems to be no appropriate way to end this ordeal of a story other than to relay the good news that all parties lived. The bad news is that the mother-daughter pair remain at large, but their days are certainly numbered. Watch your step, bitches.

MMXI

Happy New Year! 

2010 was the year in which Decadence found her name, although she has existed for many years. This was a year of fabulous accomplishments and celebratory moments mixed with hardships and lows. In many ways it was the epitome of a bipolar year; not in the psychological sense of the word, but in the extreme polarities of the experiences and how they blended together into one hot messery. 

The last year brought endings and beginnings, it brought the completion and culmination of 2 years work, and it generated the need to redefine a life. This was a year of moving and traveling, searching and networking. Old friends came back into Decadence's life and new friends entered the picture. 2010 brought more changes than any other year has and it is hard not to feel overwhelmed reflecting back on it now as well as confused when looking at how much was packed into such a short amount of time.  

Finding adventure in every day was one of Decadence's goals, whether this meant appreciation of the irony in situations, amusement at her frequent awkward moments, following spontaneous ideas, or making the most out of time with friends. Decadence succeeded in this goal. Many adventures were found and many more found Decadence. 

Although Decadence lives more in the moment rather than considering the future in her adventures, this is that time of year when resolutions are set. As with her list making style, Decadence prefers manageable and attainable goals or list items, it increases the feeling of accomplishment. This method is brought to the table when Decadence sets her new years resolutions. Yes, new years resolutions, those little promises we make and break for ourselves each year. As cheesy and inconsequential as the practice may be, Decadence takes part in it. This is not in the normal way of setting some sort of self improvement goal for herself, but more of as one additional way to take part in an annual tradition on the surface while also bringing a more jovial, fun aspect to the boring conversation of "What are your new years resolutions this year?"

Attainable new years resolutions of the past:

-Graduate

-Get a job

With goals and resolutions like this, Decadence always follows through on her resolutions (that is, the ones she can remember).

This outlet seems to be the ideal place to record these resolutions:

1-Bridge count 2K11-Every bridge crossed by foot, bicycle, or car will be counted no matter how many times a day it is crossed. "Bridge" referring to any raised path/roadway whether it allows navigation over water, buildings, houses or fields. (The count will be kept track of on the House of Decadence.)

2-Find adventure in every day.

3-Maintain current employment so as to fund further adventures.

May you too have a year of Decadence! If this thought makes you nervous then just remember: everything in moderation (not a personal motto of Decadence, but perhaps it will ease your fears).

"It's a great night to play soccer"

Ahh the famous last words...

Not more than an hour after texting this title statement to a friend, I was in an ambulance with an IV in arm and on my way to the emergency room for the first time in my life.

-Let me preface by stating that I have never been allergic to anything before and I have been stung by multiple insects and stinging bugs, multiple times. This night (apparently) was a bug meant for Decadence.

While lacing up the cleats for soccer practice with a group of people, two of which I had only met prior to this night, I was stung on the underside/meaty part of my bicep by a mystery bug. Mystery because no one saw an insect of any kind flying around the field that night.

So-I get stung. It hurt, about like normal sting-hurt. I tell my fellow soccer ladies that I got stung, then the conversation moves forward to who knows what because I started feeling strange. Full body throb started first..."mmm," I think, "am I nervous about soccer practice? That's weird." Then I start to get cold and I feel my face get red hot. "this is also weird, but I'll just put on my long sleeved shirt" I think. I check the sting spot before donning my shirt, no change.

Face and scalp start to itch, bad. I look around as I scratch my head and rub my face and strangely no on e else seems to be cold, red or feeling the need to scratch their head or face. "Better go to the car mirror and have a look" oh wise one thinks to herself...

Not even looking for swelling, I see a bright red, splotchy face looking back at me and looking back I do recall some strange new additions to my normal facial features. At this point the other of two people I knew prior to tonight have arrived, but she is talking to some other people. I normally hate to interrupt, but in this case I felt it was imperative. I tap my friend on the shoulder and say, "I have a problem." She takes one look at me and screams, "SIT DOWN!" and immediately alerts others in the vicinity to 1. see if a nurse with an Epipen is anywhere nearby, 2. keep me calm, while she calls 911.

After my one glimpse in the mirror, I did not see my face again for four hours, but in that time I am fully aware that my face swelled to a near unrecognizable amount (ascertained from the EMT who was not blessed with tact), including eyelids, lips and nose. I was covered in hives arms and back first, then stomach and thighs. My arm around the sting site was not hives, it was one swollen blob emerging from my arm, about the size of a flattened grapefruit-perhaps a grapefruit grown with steroid products.

Nurses were located, but not Epipen-toting nurses. These were nurses who told me as my breathing became hard work due to throat and lung constriction, "There is nothing you can do right now other than stay calm." My thoughts, "Thanks for that, I'm fully aware that I am dying." Luckily we were at a collection of fields in the middle of new construction so the police cruiser and the ambulance could not find us right away.

I later heard the story that when one of the other players did see a police cruiser (they made it to the field first-why did they come? I know not), she chased the car down to make sure it would see us, but when she arrived at the cruiser, the police were in the process of arresting a man. (Not to mention that the girl that chased the cruise down was sporting a black eye.) Once the man was arrested, actually I'm not sure what happened to the arrested man and the policeman partner who arrested him, one officer came over to offer some help. This help consisted of noticing my full-body shake due to the anaphylactic shock, deciding that I must be cold and covering me with some sort of 1/2 plastic blanket, then later deciding that I should sit in the back of his cruiser.

Finally, just as I was entering a state of silent panic and unsure how much longer I could withstand such stressed breathing the ambulance arrived. I have no idea how much time had passed, but judging loosely from the times I did see clocks...it was at least 20 minutes. Not good. My full body shake did not help the EMT with his questionable IV skills and luckily I looked away while he worked his "magic." When I did brave a look at my arm, it looked like I had an IV next to a wolverine bite complete with blood all down my arm. (glad I didn't watch THAT transpire) After this amount of time passage, all the IV Benadryl served to do was make me feel warm on the inside. Swelling did not subside, full body shake continued, breathing was still strained and my thoughts of panic continued, if not intensified.

Trying not to sound alarmed, the EMTs discussed their next step while I avoided eye contact and tried to tune out all of my worst case scenario thoughts. Their next step was shooting me in the leg with the maximum amount the Epipen held. This, sadly, had no effect other than increasing my panic and the EMTs responding with what I now imagine as a game show host's announcement: "You win a ride to the Emergency Room!!"

Always the practical mind, I informed them that I lived 2 blocks away from a hospital and that it would be amazing and convenient if they could take me to that one. They respectfully declined this suggestion as it was over 45 minutes away.

It was during this time that I felt it would be an appropriate distraction to send a few texts on my uncharged phone. Of course I received the request to take a picture of my swollen face...I now regret not following through on this request, but at the time I was mortified that ANYONE had seen me looking like I was straight out of a horror film let alone have some sort of permanent proof of the situation.

I made no friends on the ambulance ride. I am normally a social and talkative person, but I was put out with life at the time and cursing Decadence Brown as I fully blame my shadow self for this incident. I was also quite disgusted that I didn't get an ambulance ride with a siren...it was a silent ride, shaky too but not from the driving. By the time we arrived at the ER I was over the entire situation. The Benadryl had NOT made me sleepy as promised, I was still swollen and covered in hives, and now I had countless more witnesses to my new look. Luckily the ER nurses gave me a nice private hallway spot to park my stretcher. Thanks.

Over the next few hours I was pumped with various other IV meds and liquids, my roommates arrived (looking alarmed), and I was finally released.

After what had already been a terrible day and week at work (this was a Wednesday), the best part of this whole ordeal was that I took the following day off from work. Well that and now I get to carry Epipens with me wherever I go...needless to say I'm in the market for a classy neon fanny pack in which to keep said Epipens.