Defining Decadence

It may be necessary to define exactly what Decadence means in the case of this entity referred to as "Decadence Brown." This definition will of course come with examples.

Starting from the beginning, Decadence meant class, elegance, and the finest things money could buy-to the extreme. Now this was manifested in the 80's prom theme as follows: a tight (more like painted on) purple velvet dress with an off the shoulder, scallop-edged top, taken up at the bottom where graduated layers of neon green and yellow tulle were added and slits had to be cut in order to allow for dancing, walking, and movement of the knees. This look was accessorized with a metallic hot pink purse and shoes, a hand sewn orchid forearm-sized corsage, a large flower and tulle hair piece, and a glow-in-the-dark prom court sash. As the night ensued, so did Decadence. On this night, however, others were more carried away than Decadence and it was she who pieced many others' nights together, this after a fast one was pulled on Decadence and she was left at the after party with only one other person she knew. This only served to prove from day one that Decadence was a survivor who was able to make the best of any situation...

After this Decadence spent many a day distracting the host self from completing assignments that had nearing due dates, preventing the host self from searching for employment that would earn her money for more adventures after an impending graduation, and countless hours filled with a mindset of "Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHATever. I do what I want!" Others were pulled into these shenanigans and no apologies are needed for this because in many circumstances this sort of attitude is called for, but the lesson of note here is this: if Decadence had her way, this mindset would have no limits, no boundaries, and all would join her. Decadence lives with a sense of urgency, like running at a full sprint with no thoughts of exhaustion, soreness, injury, or the like-that every minute could be the final minute. The problem arises when responsibility rears its ugly head...
Decadence did remain relatively undetected for a few weeks during this time, it's only during thoughtful reflection that she was found.

Perfect day of Decadence shared by all

The next definition-example pair relates to Decadence's partiality to saying "yes" when a simple "no" would suffice. Because Decadence is who she is, yes is a much more appealing idea. Many times she has the foresight to know what will happen when yes is the answer, and will even warn those around her of what is about to happen...and then "yes" happens and the bit of foreshadowing preceding the "yes" becomes reality. Example: Decadence does not tolerate rum, especially in small amounts without mixers and/or chasers (although various mixed beverages pass inspection). On the occasion of this example, Decadence warned her good friend Fancy Freeman when Fancy offered Decadence a rum shot. Decadence went so far as to warn Fancy that the shot would make Decadence lose a to-be-determined amount of her stomach contents. Fancy did not listen. Fancy pushed for the shot to be taken, and Decadence with her preference for the word "yes" took the shot. Upon taking the shot, Decadence tilted her head back for intake then just as quickly forward towards the clean, polished wooden bar where, just as predicted, a small amount of stomach contents-including the rum-were deposited on the bar and the bar stool beside the bar. Decadence looked at Fancy and said, "I told you!" Since this time, Fancy has refrained from offering/pressuring Decadence to take a rum shot.

Decadence says "No"

Often Decadence shares a motto uttered by Clark W. Griswold, Jr. in Christmas Vacation: "We're gonna do it right, and we're gonna do it big." which is also fitting considering this time of year. Is doing it "big" or pushing it to the extreme in the case of the current definition always best? Of course not, but when it comes to Decadence it tends to be standard. Take the example of Decadence's new-found death-allergy...upon "venom testing" (technical term) it turns out that Decadence is, as the doctor stated it "extremely allergic to all stinging insects". Now really, what would be the fun of only being allergic to one stinging insect? Who has time to differentiate between the pesky devils? Why not brave the great outdoors with a severe allergy to all stinging insects-clearly life gets more interesting in the latter situation...such is Decadence.
A version of this sort of living has also been summarized in terms you may be familiar with: "When it rains it pours." This has also become a way of Decadence. Decadence has been known to have bad days, but because Decadence lives in extremes-bad days tend to be especially and extravagantly bad. In these cases, it is necessary to reflect on how ridiculously bad the day was, ponder how quickly the situation or series of situations escalated, and then (hopefully) laugh, make fun of, or shake a fist at the day. At times Decadence will purposefully make a day or situation worse as a test to see if it can be done. Warning: such is a test that always works. Examples of these situations will come in due time.

The alternative is good days, but again rules of living in extremes (although the combination of rules and extremes seems unnatural) means that good days become fantastic days that must be celebrated with whatever means necessary. The same applies for awkwardness-awkwardness should be celebrated, after the embarrassment passes. Fancy reframes the awkwardness of Decadence as something that attracts people to Decadence. Could this be true? Perhaps...perhaps it even normalizes others' fears that they too are socially awkward.

"It's a great night to play soccer"

Ahh the famous last words...

Not more than an hour after texting this title statement to a friend, I was in an ambulance with an IV in arm and on my way to the emergency room for the first time in my life.

-Let me preface by stating that I have never been allergic to anything before and I have been stung by multiple insects and stinging bugs, multiple times. This night (apparently) was a bug meant for Decadence.

While lacing up the cleats for soccer practice with a group of people, two of which I had only met prior to this night, I was stung on the underside/meaty part of my bicep by a mystery bug. Mystery because no one saw an insect of any kind flying around the field that night.

So-I get stung. It hurt, about like normal sting-hurt. I tell my fellow soccer ladies that I got stung, then the conversation moves forward to who knows what because I started feeling strange. Full body throb started first..."mmm," I think, "am I nervous about soccer practice? That's weird." Then I start to get cold and I feel my face get red hot. "this is also weird, but I'll just put on my long sleeved shirt" I think. I check the sting spot before donning my shirt, no change.

Face and scalp start to itch, bad. I look around as I scratch my head and rub my face and strangely no on e else seems to be cold, red or feeling the need to scratch their head or face. "Better go to the car mirror and have a look" oh wise one thinks to herself...

Not even looking for swelling, I see a bright red, splotchy face looking back at me and looking back I do recall some strange new additions to my normal facial features. At this point the other of two people I knew prior to tonight have arrived, but she is talking to some other people. I normally hate to interrupt, but in this case I felt it was imperative. I tap my friend on the shoulder and say, "I have a problem." She takes one look at me and screams, "SIT DOWN!" and immediately alerts others in the vicinity to 1. see if a nurse with an Epipen is anywhere nearby, 2. keep me calm, while she calls 911.

After my one glimpse in the mirror, I did not see my face again for four hours, but in that time I am fully aware that my face swelled to a near unrecognizable amount (ascertained from the EMT who was not blessed with tact), including eyelids, lips and nose. I was covered in hives arms and back first, then stomach and thighs. My arm around the sting site was not hives, it was one swollen blob emerging from my arm, about the size of a flattened grapefruit-perhaps a grapefruit grown with steroid products.

Nurses were located, but not Epipen-toting nurses. These were nurses who told me as my breathing became hard work due to throat and lung constriction, "There is nothing you can do right now other than stay calm." My thoughts, "Thanks for that, I'm fully aware that I am dying." Luckily we were at a collection of fields in the middle of new construction so the police cruiser and the ambulance could not find us right away.

I later heard the story that when one of the other players did see a police cruiser (they made it to the field first-why did they come? I know not), she chased the car down to make sure it would see us, but when she arrived at the cruiser, the police were in the process of arresting a man. (Not to mention that the girl that chased the cruise down was sporting a black eye.) Once the man was arrested, actually I'm not sure what happened to the arrested man and the policeman partner who arrested him, one officer came over to offer some help. This help consisted of noticing my full-body shake due to the anaphylactic shock, deciding that I must be cold and covering me with some sort of 1/2 plastic blanket, then later deciding that I should sit in the back of his cruiser.

Finally, just as I was entering a state of silent panic and unsure how much longer I could withstand such stressed breathing the ambulance arrived. I have no idea how much time had passed, but judging loosely from the times I did see clocks...it was at least 20 minutes. Not good. My full body shake did not help the EMT with his questionable IV skills and luckily I looked away while he worked his "magic." When I did brave a look at my arm, it looked like I had an IV next to a wolverine bite complete with blood all down my arm. (glad I didn't watch THAT transpire) After this amount of time passage, all the IV Benadryl served to do was make me feel warm on the inside. Swelling did not subside, full body shake continued, breathing was still strained and my thoughts of panic continued, if not intensified.

Trying not to sound alarmed, the EMTs discussed their next step while I avoided eye contact and tried to tune out all of my worst case scenario thoughts. Their next step was shooting me in the leg with the maximum amount the Epipen held. This, sadly, had no effect other than increasing my panic and the EMTs responding with what I now imagine as a game show host's announcement: "You win a ride to the Emergency Room!!"

Always the practical mind, I informed them that I lived 2 blocks away from a hospital and that it would be amazing and convenient if they could take me to that one. They respectfully declined this suggestion as it was over 45 minutes away.

It was during this time that I felt it would be an appropriate distraction to send a few texts on my uncharged phone. Of course I received the request to take a picture of my swollen face...I now regret not following through on this request, but at the time I was mortified that ANYONE had seen me looking like I was straight out of a horror film let alone have some sort of permanent proof of the situation.

I made no friends on the ambulance ride. I am normally a social and talkative person, but I was put out with life at the time and cursing Decadence Brown as I fully blame my shadow self for this incident. I was also quite disgusted that I didn't get an ambulance ride with a siren...it was a silent ride, shaky too but not from the driving. By the time we arrived at the ER I was over the entire situation. The Benadryl had NOT made me sleepy as promised, I was still swollen and covered in hives, and now I had countless more witnesses to my new look. Luckily the ER nurses gave me a nice private hallway spot to park my stretcher. Thanks.

Over the next few hours I was pumped with various other IV meds and liquids, my roommates arrived (looking alarmed), and I was finally released.

After what had already been a terrible day and week at work (this was a Wednesday), the best part of this whole ordeal was that I took the following day off from work. Well that and now I get to carry Epipens with me wherever I go...needless to say I'm in the market for a classy neon fanny pack in which to keep said Epipens.