Since moving to Jacksonville, Decadence has found herself in the middle of a wide range of predicaments. Chronicled already are the life-threatening, the awkward, and the more awkward. Decadence has also stumbled upon numerous social events (the word stumbled could not be more appropriate in these situations).
In one such instance, Decadence was invited to what seemed like it would be a laid back event that involved a tour and presentation at a program centered around the arts. Excited to learn more about the program, Decadence left work early, changed into clothes that she was sure would qualify as over-dressed for the event and arrived just barely in time for the start of the presentation. The near tardiness was due to Decadence's failure to check the address of the presentation.
Upon arrival she was first aware that she was underdressed. Next she was aware that she was the youngest attendee by at least 20 years. What she realized next was that she was amongst the elite of Jacksonville's art patrons; including names that she recognized as major contributors even in her mere 4 months as a resident of the large city. The other attendees had on fine, large jewelry one piece worth more than Decadence's entire wardrobe and jewelry collection. Many knew each other and carried themselves with elegance and an old world kind of head-held-high posture. Decadence was intimidated.
Because she had sent an RSVP for the event, she had a name tag ready and waiting for her arrival. In Decadence's line of work, her first name is never used, in fact, her first name is hidden and she is only known as "Ms. Brown." She is also quite trained and ready to introduce herself successfully in social situations IF she does not have a name tag on. With a name tag, Decadence is easily confused and disoriented when someone uses her name before she introduces herself. Many curveballs were thrown at the unprepared, intimidated, and underdressed Decadence that day.
One of the worst handled curveballs was when one of the organization's top people asked simply,
"Hello, [Decadence], how are you?" Decadence responded as if the man had stated, "Hello, my name is Jeff." In the middle of stating her response, Decadence realized that what she was about to say would not mesh with this man's actual question. If aborting mission and disappearing from the man's sight was possible, Decadence would have paid to take that option, instead the response went something like this (make sure when reading, to use the ellipses or … as a long pause): "Hi, I'm…good…(insert quizzical look from "Jeff") I'm sorry, I'm really thrown off right now."
How did he respond to that? No idea-the rest of that conversation was blacked out due to sheer panic at the social awkwardness displayed by Decadence.
Many deep breaths later and quiet smiling and nodding while others did the talking, Decadence recovered her embarrassment and managed somehow to photobomb most of the pictures taken at this event. Hopefully this will ensure that the others in attendance will remember the strange, underdressed, awkward girl who strolled through the tour and presentation on that fated day.
What is a "photobomb" you ask? Below are two classic Decadence photobomb moves...
Exhibit A-method used: jump into the back of the picture at the last minute with a confused/excited/concerned look and perhaps some flailing arms.
Exhibit B-method used: strategically walk in front of the scene just before the picture is taken, with a serious looking face so as to not raise suspicion that this move is intentional.
