Optimism blinds Decadence without fail...every time.
It even seems that the universe takes the combination of each new situation + optimism + Decadence and sees it as a challenge--a challenge to create new ways to foil Decadence. Each new way is different, unique, unexpected, and worthy of a Charlie Brown reaction, such as:
or a Charlie Brown inspired head droop and sluggish walk away from foiled attempt, shown here:
As there are already several examples of these situations present in previous blog posts, there will only be one new moment shared...
This brief moment in time takes place only two months after Decadence moved to Jacksonville. During these first two months, she spent many weekends out of town choosing to visit old friends rather than stay in town to make new friends. (She had a difficult adjustment at first.)
The evening to be described marks one of the first few weekends Decadence remained in town. The week preceding this event was the first week in which Decadence had successfully met new people outside of her current coworkers and roommates. It would be safe to say that this was the first week in which Decadence's difficult adjustment lifted and things began to look up.
**Note: It is in these moments that optimism is at its highest and Decadence falls into the old unsuspecting ways.
On this night, Decadence had made a new friend through other new friends. Decadence had planned to meet the new friend for a local, low-key happy hour before attending an old Italian horror film in celebration of the fast approaching and much anticipated Halloween.
Excited to have met a someone new, Decadence was of course hoping to make a favorable impression. Channeling optimism and positive self-worth, Decadence set off for nearby meeting place. Decadence was the second to arrive, so she joined her new friend where he sat amongst the other happy hour patrons.
Initial pleasantries were exchanged, but after the first few words, Decadence's attention wandered. This waning attention was not due to the pleasantries...it was just that Decadence could not shake the feeling that something terrible and unidentifiable had happened. Decadence's friend continued to generate conversation, but all was lost to Decadence as she tried silently to solve the mystery of what had gone wrong. She looked from her friend to the floor and back to her friend. She smiled and nodded to what was being said without comprehension, attempting to appear as if things were normal but all the while panic was mounting.
After a few moments of this, Decadence began to apply more attention to the mystery than her friend. She slowly lifted one foot and then the other, studying each and then the floor. She noticed a lot of dirt-like material. The substance was caked onto the foot rest of the high stool, the foot of the bar and the floor below where the stool sat and it looked to be any of the following things:
-A stack of extremely wet and now ripped, mushy napkins
-Thick mud, dirt mixture
-Dog shit, lots and lots of dog shit
Silently Decadence thought, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, PLEASE let this be a stack of wet, soggy napkins." Continuing to cycle between looking at her friend, to the floor, to the stool, to her shoes, and now to the soiled back of her jeans, her lack of focus could no longer be ignored by her friend. He also began to study the situation while Decadence maintained a fearful silence. Recalling this event, it is likely that Decadence was making this face:
Afraid to get too close to determine the exact nature of the substance, both kept their distance choosing instead to speculate from afar. Others at the bar began to notice the detective work going on and began to suspend their conversations to offer help to the cause.
After a few minutes, there was no way to deny that the substance was in fact a massive amount of dog shit left behind by a mother-daughter pair who had only minutes before Decadence's arrival vacated the restaurant.
It would be fair to say that this mother-daughter pair was straight out of Mommy Dearest
At some point, and thanks to Decadence's friend, logic took over and it was decided that Decadence should make the short walk home, change (pants and shoes) and start the night fresh.
There really seems to be no appropriate way to end this ordeal of a story other than to relay the good news that all parties lived. The bad news is that the mother-daughter pair remain at large, but their days are certainly numbered. Watch your step, bitches.
